"I love to see the temple"

The last two weeks have been extremely hard in cheer.
As I have fought with my emotions.
I want this but it doesn't seem in sight.
I felt like I deserved this, but didn't receive it.

Last week I fought back tears, as I watched the one spot I really wanted be handed to someone else.
Since then I have fought with myself, and my desires to move forward.
I have since struggled with the dance, keeping up, and even having desires to do it.

On Monday during seminary my teacher challenged us to sing a primary song, or recite a scripture when we had bad thoughts or thoughts that brought us down.

I found myself singing "I love to see the temple" on Monday during practice when I got frustrated. And it helped me to concentrate and get further along.

I chose this song because of the meaning it has to me.

I have found myself a few times whisper it to Lily.

It reminds me of the eternal family Lily has. Of the struggles I have been through, and the choices I have made. Of the promises I have made to push forward through anything, because I know it is possible.
One day I want an eternal family.
I desire happiness, and without trying I only doom myself to fail.
Today I think of the last year and a half.
Thank my heavenly father.
And promise to keep pushing forward.
It can get better.