Cambria Leann

Thursday, September 17, 2009

"I love to see the temple"

The last two weeks have been extremely hard in cheer.
As I have fought with my emotions.
I want this but it doesn't seem in sight.
I felt like I deserved this, but didn't receive it.

Last week I fought back tears, as I watched the one spot I really wanted be handed to someone else.
Since then I have fought with myself, and my desires to move forward.
I have since struggled with the dance, keeping up, and even having desires to do it.

On Monday during seminary my teacher challenged us to sing a primary song, or recite a scripture when we had bad thoughts or thoughts that brought us down.

I found myself singing "I love to see the temple" on Monday during practice when I got frustrated. And it helped me to concentrate and get further along.

I chose this song because of the meaning it has to me.

I have found myself a few times whisper it to Lily.

It reminds me of the eternal family Lily has. Of the struggles I have been through, and the choices I have made. Of the promises I have made to push forward through anything, because I know it is possible.
One day I want an eternal family.
I desire happiness, and without trying I only doom myself to fail.
Today I think of the last year and a half.
Thank my heavenly father.
And promise to keep pushing forward.
It can get better.


Jo Dee said...

I hope Heavenly Father grants you this worthy desire someday. You deserve all the happiness you desire! Luv YA!

mommd said...

You move me to tears, tears of joy. You are strong, beautiful, bright and full of clear thinking. A better day is right around the corner, I just know it. You inspire me.
Love you,
Nana P