Cambria Leann

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Long Locks

As a young child my mother grew my hair long. And I remember her as being the one who cared for it. When the realization of her death came upon me I wouldn't allow anyone to touch my hair. It was my mom's job to take care of it and I wanted her to do it. After a few days my sister took control, washed my hair, and began to brush out all the knots of a 4 year old's hair had that was so long it hit my waist. I cried as she brushed it. And after wards my dad took me and I got it cut off. It was so short that I remember being told I had boy hair in day care and I was so angry. It hurt me and I often wished my mom was there to take care of my long locks. Today I keep my hair long just because it reminds me of when I was a kid and that horrible memory. And maybe in some ways in reminds me of my childhood with my mom.


As I walked into my old ward today I was reminded of the love that grows there.
How it always draws me back.
How I never want to leave.
I cried just a little bit being in a place that holds so much of me in it.
I felt safe.
It reminded me of how much I've grown.
And how I don't want to go back down the roads I have already traveled.

School holds it's challenges for me.
Mostly social.
I don't feel like I can relate to many of the college kids.
In reality don't want to relate to what they do.
But that's just a part of life.

Sometimes I wish life was as easy as running back to my roots.
My old ward.