Sometimes I feel like the world expects me to be over the placement of my birth daughter.
That because I feel like it was/is the best for her, and I know it is right, that it should no longer hurt, that I should just be able to continue on with life like nothing ever occurred.
But this is NOT true.
It will always be apart of my life.
Some days is does hurt.
Some nights I cry.
Sometimes I just can't even make it through the day normally.
I have bad days, I have hard weeks.
And sometimes when it's really hard, the hard week may turn into a hard few weeks.
But it is just part of the process.
And that is okay.
Adoption is NOT an event, or milestone.
You can't just tackle it and get over it.
Instead it is a process, something continually part of your life, apart of who you are.
I never forget the events, the pain, the love, or her.
But most of the time, all of this doesn't consume all of my thoughts.
But when it does consume the majority of my thoughts, I am reminded that I don't ever want to just forget it all.
The the events, the pain, the love, the friendships, and the miracle of her alone, are all apart of who I am.
They have also made me to who I am today.
For that I am grateful.
I am very blessed.
Adoption will always be a huge part of my life.
Somethings like this will never change.
(Picture taken National Adoption Day, November 15, 2008. Placement Day)