Cambria Leann

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

72 hour waiting period

I remember the day before I placed.
I went to get my hair done for pictures the next day.
My dad offered to watch Lily while I went to the salon.
I didn't want to leave her.
I felt like those were going to be two hours I would never get back.
I watched the clock intently while I got my hair done.
I wanted to go home as fast as I could.
My arms wanted to hold that sweet baby girl for as long as I could.
I went home with wet, freshly dyed hair.
I couldn't wait any longer, not even for her to dry my hair.

In one of meetings with my caseworker we talked about the 72 hour waiting period before I could sign.
I could sign temporary foster care over to her parents, spend a few days in a hotel, or go home for the remainder of the time before the 72 hours passed.
There were a lot of reasons why I chose to take her home. But a few that stood out the most are

1. I wanted to spend time with her, in comfortable settings. Hospitals remind me of sickly people; of my mom. Hospitals make me uncomfortable.
2. I couldn't bare the thought of signing papers on two separate occasions. I knew the Lord could help me sign once, but twice sounded unbearable. I knew my limits, and I knew twice would not happen. (even if once was foster care, and once was adoption papers)
3. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. To build up strength to overcome the battle I was facing, the battle I will continue to face.  She was my little buddy, she strengthened me when I was pregnant and I felt like I couldn't go on, and she gave me strength to place. The Lord knew how to comfort me, he knew I would find comfort in her.
4. Simply, I needed it for me.

Those few days were some of the best days. Days that reminded me what I needed to do, what I chose to do. The gave me strength to continue on the journey. They comforted me, and allowed me to see that all would be well.

8 comments:

Ashley said...

i wish blogs had an i like button. instead i will just write i like.

Ashley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kristinanne said...

hugs!

birthmothertalks said...

I am glad that you had that time with her.

Heather said...

Cami I love you girl and admire your strength... those 72 hours were the toughest but i will always remember my 72 hours with my angel... your a great example of strength to me.. i love you your amazing... its crazy to think we are coming up on 2 years in just a few short weeks.. and how much we have grown

Norma said...

Cami, You are an amazing young woman! I love you and hope you get everything your heart desires in life.

Cluff Family said...

I miss seeing you every week Cami. I think about you often and want you to know that I really admire and respect you and that I am so glad that I had a chance to meet you.

Kayli said...

It's good to see that other birthmothers did this as well and understand. I had my little angel with me for 4 nights; I needed that time. Thank you for sharing this. You're a strong woman and your blog is a strength to those who read it.