Cami style.

Some times I hint at things,
without really saying.
You all know what is occuring,
I suppose it's no secret.
My life is no secret,
for I open it up to others.
My thoughts for I have many,
are written almost daily.
I love, I live, and I enjoy life.
Curious about the almost never ending smile?
It's something to do with loving life.
There is always something amazing to come of something not so amazing.
Love yourself.
Love others.
And enjoy life.
I do it Cami style..
Big smiles, and lots of laughs!

It's About Love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGCxBmoAIAE

Times they are a-changin

Change is such a reality lately that it won't stay off my mind.
Whether it's the thought of Gilbert.
High School ending.
College.
Cheer.
Or anything else in my short future.
Am I ready to jump on the band wagon and accept my ever changing life, not so much.
Moving to a place with other children isn't my ideal future.
Moving in general isn't something I look forward to.
I always fight change.
And with every move comes my fights.
I rebel.
Not purposely, it just comes with the overwhelming amount of emotions.
Gilbert?
May 1st?.. way too soon.
What is awaiting me around the corner?

Change. Change. Change.

Change.
Yes, change is still on my mind.
In ways I miss being pregnant.
Because it's change that I no longer have that.
Change.
Everything is coming so quickly.
For now it's three months.
And soon it will just be here.
Change.
For this one choice will bring lots of change.


When I am confused, not ready for what's next.
I stop and think about how I have to extra to push to get me moving.
I think of sweet, sweet Lily.
How the last night she spent at my house she was cold.
I held her, and she laid on me, we fell asleep together that night.
and I woke up to that gorgeous little girl.
Having the ability to press forward.
One day, I want to be able to show her who I am.
The kind of person I am today.
For she was my little angel sent to rescue me.
She helped put my thoughts back in perspective.

Change?

Sometimes I question change,
wonder if I am ready for what comes next?
I am going to be able to push through
the next set of events?
Who knows, but my life is changing everywhere I go.
Whether its school, cheer, my father, my outlooks, my feelings, my life, and everything around me, things that effect me, everything is changing.
Am I fighting being older?
Possibly.
Am I fight change?
I could be.
But where I am going to go if all I do is fight it.
Accept it, embrace it, that is what i need to do.
Who knows what the next year and a half will hold..
But change is sure to come.

2007-2008 Season

2 months?

Guess who is now 2 months old?
Miss Lily.

Amazing.
Time seems to fly by.
I love how she is so happy in these pictures.

It's just another reminder she is where she belongs.

A New Year

A new year, and new beginnings.
Where we go from here nobody knows.
But what we decide to do with what we are given, makes all the difference.

I could lay in my bed, cry, and say this is the end of the world.
Or I can except it for what it is.
I can work through my wanting to step back.
My wanting to say what's on my mind.
My trials.
My tears.
And so much more.
But the only way I can do that is by choosing to.
You must also choose to work through something if you want to over come it.

Big news to be shared soon.

Friday Debate

I have successfully made it through my first week of school.
Only a few tears shed.
And many smiles.

I think the moment that tested me the most was Friday Morning debate.
And the very many ill taught children in the world.
I couldn't argue my point, I could barely even talk.
For what they said was so low.
Maybe if they understood, maybe if they knew what I went through to get to this point.
Forgiveness for they do not know better.

Adoption- Is not a horrible thing.
It's a miraculous thing.
It's not the worst thing ever.
For me it was one of the best things in my life.

It's sad that so many don't understand.

Next time that subject comes up in debate maybe I'll be able to speak my mind.
Maybe I'll even tell about my experience.
Who knows.

Talk about me?

Tag.One Word Answers.
1. Where is your phone? here.
2. Where is your significant other? notta
3.Your hair color? brownish?
4. Your Mother? heaven
5. Your Father? amazing
6. Your favorite thing? cheer
7. Your dream last night? forgotten
8. Your dream/goal? better
9. The room you're in? daddy's
10. Your hobby? shopping
11. Your fear? many
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? alive
13. Where were you last night? group
14. What you're not? tied
15. One of your wish-list items? love
16. Where you grew up? different
17. The last thing you ate? chinese
18. What are you wearing? jeans
19. Your TV? ok
20. Your pet? Stinky
21. Your computer? fast
22. Your mood? confused.
23. Missing someone? many
24. Your car? none
25. Something you're not wearing? spandex
26. Favorite store? depends.
27. Your Summer? warm
28. Love someone? manny
29. Your favorite color? Pink
30. When was the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? yesterday
32. Something you crave? friendship
33. Why you blog? endless

1st Day

My First Day of School.

Woke up ridiculously early. Feeling sick.
Went to school with a fever and a sore throat.
Took 2 hours some arguing, and a principal to get me registered.
Walked into the middle of second hour to find..

Mr. Wylie.

All in all it was a pretty good day except...
Some girls talking about me at lunch.
Rumors about "D"
My sickness.
And my math class. Which I pretty much wanted to cry in.

Luckily
I switch my math class.
And everything else is fine.

There is opposition in everything, you just have to focus on the good things.
I can't focus on the bad at school, because for the most part everything is well.

Thoughtfulness

So it's pretty apparent that I am nervous about school.
Maybe because frankly I don't know if I can handle it.
And I just don't know what to expect.

Along with all the encouragement, I have received this past week..
Today I received this..


And I opened to find..



Along with some very thoughtful cards.
Some special things I am very excited to have on my first day back at school.
In a lot of ways it feels like my very "first day" of school...
You know how you are all nervous.

But a very special family, put smiles on my face.
And although Monday will be a hard day.
Whether they realize it or not,
They just made it that much easier for me.
Thank you.
You have no idea how much that meant to me.