Peaceful feelings

Visiting a fellow Momma tonight at the hospital brought me back to the time I spent at the hospital.
It brought me such a peaceful, happy feeling.
Life what an amazing thing.
To love, to give, to share.
I commend those around me, those I visit each week, and those who support.
I commend the parents, through tough battles have to make a decision to grow their families in another way.
Each week I am spiritually uplifted, peaceful, and happy all from some amazing women.

I love thinking about Lily's birth.

I remember looking at that beautiful face for the first time not knowing what to say. She was scared, and her eyes were locked on mine. "Baby it's going to be ok."

And sure enough it has better than just ok.

I'm back.

(Kendal and I)

I watch my life unfold, never know what is going to happen next.
It's the thrill, the uncertainty, the excitement.
I sometimes am curious why this is happening,
why is this that.
I look at the events of the last 2 months and think wow I made it.
There have been bad, but also good to come of it.
With losses of good friendships, and a feeling that all is falling apart something comes only to save you.
I have gained a new friend, and although the future is still uncertain, I am happy and ready for what comes next.
I'm back!


19 days till I check in for my honors program.

Wishing

Wishing for a weekend away.
A weekend of peaceful tranquility.

O how I love sunflowers.

A little update

Lily's adoption was finalized last week, along with her sealing on saturday to her loving family. I can't even go on to explain how much I love Lily's family. How they have opened their arms to me, and how they have been my friends when I don't know who to turn to. They amaze me.

School ended and I start work at Big surf.

I got into the program at ASU this summer. July 5 - August 7

We moved in into Gilbert. I have have been driving way more back and forth, here and there more then anybody should ever have to.

And I have turned to myself for a lot of things. I have found myself enjoying the drives by myself just to have some time to reflect. I have enjoyed that special time to just gather my thoughts and put myself in a good place. I have enjoyed listening to a little bit of slow, softer music, and found myself smiling.

Although there seems to be so much going on around me, I have found that time to myself keeps me calm, and I can continue carrying on.

Happy Mother's Day

To Brianne. You deserve the honor today. I love you more than words could ever explain. And today laying in my bed I thought about you, and how much I hoped you were having an amazing day. Thank you for being Lily's mommy.

Happy,

Happy Birth Mother's Day ladies.
Celebrate it, enjoy it, today is your day.
I love you all.
And you mean more than anything.

Honor Birth Mothers you know today.

Believing?

I walked through the motions of the last week.
Not sure if I could even handle it.
A few times I couldn't.
I had to take a drive to the store.
Stop my projects that I really want to finish.
Or drive away from where I wanted to be, just so I didn't have to see another.
I have drank Oreo shakes from Chee Burger. Eaten Ice cream cones.
And I have busied myself in other things.
But I know some how it's all going to become real.
Whether it's today or in a few days. It'll become real.
Knowing I can handle it is one thing.
But believing is another and right now, I am not sure I believe.