A year ago (yesterday)

A year ago yesterday is when it all began.
Those are happy distance memories though.
The most recent ones, those are the painful ones, the ones that aren't so distant
It's weird how things change over time
And after a certain point things can either fall apart or become amazing.
You have to choose.
I am not saying my choices then were the greatest, but some how it was everything I needed.
I need the beginning, the end, and all those times I was alone.
I needed the temporary happiness, to show me what is real.
I needed the love that isn't unconditional.
I needed him to walk away, so I could make the right choice.
I needed him to leave, so I could start being who I really am.
In a lot of ways I lost myself, somewhere between the "will you go out with me" and the "i can't do this anymore"
I get angry sometimes, the angry where all I want to do is go scream and bawl my eyes out. I want to say what's on my mind.
But I don't, I know I am better than that.
I then stop and think how grateful I am that everything turned out this way.
And then I know that this struggle wasn't for us, it was for me.
Because I was ready for it, and it was my turn to grow.
For others including him, their struggles will come at a time when they needed them.
Our struggles are made just for us, just for what we can handle.
Would you ever ask to trade trials with someone else?
-I sure wouldn't